Welcome to the 9th edition of North Star Blueprints! In this weekly newsletter, we embark on a journey of personal and professional growth, offering observations, strategies, and inspiration to help you navigate life’s challenges and reach new heights of success. This edition will provide a summary of the daily insights I posted throughout the week, packed with valuable tips, thought-provoking ideas, and actionable advice designed to provide you with techniques and strategies to better manage your stress levels at work and in your personal life, helping you to unleash your better self.
April 15: Don’t Forget to Breath!
Think about a time you were very stressed… presenting in front of a large audience, leading a high stress meeting, running a high-pressure sales call, completing a difficult negotiation scenario, or resolving a heated conflict in the team. Your heart rate is elevated, breathing is shallow and irregular, and muscles are stiff. Sounds familiar?
In order to perform well you will need to bring yourself back to a more stable state, otherwise your body’s stress processes will start overwhelming your ability to think and see clearly. Fortunately, there is a very effective technique to gain back control of yourself, practiced by many in high stakes professions, from athletes, to special forces, to top executives – Box Breathing.
Box Breathing (4-4-4-4) is a structured breathing technique that involves four simple steps: inhale, hold, exhale, and hold. This method can help regulate your breathing, calm your nervous system, and reduce stress levels.
Inhale: Take a slow, deep breath through your nose for a count of 4.
Hold: Hold your breath for a count of 4.
Exhale: Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of 4.
Hold: Hold your breath for a count of 4 before beginning the next cycle.
Repeat this sequence several times, focusing on the rhythm of your breath. You can practice Box Breathing anytime, anywhere – whether you’re at home, work, or even in the middle of a stressful situations.
So, the next time you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, remember to take a moment to practice this.
April 16: Harnessing Stress for Success
You know this feeling of nervousness right before you’re about to do something stressful? This feeling of “butterflies” in your stomach right before an interview, a business pitch, or closing an important sale?
Feeling stressed before significant events is our body’s natural response, triggering adrenaline that prepares us for action. While this adrenaline rush can lead to symptoms like increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and trembling voice, it also provides us with the opportunity to channel this jolt of energy into focused performance.
Acknowledge and Accept: Recognize stress as a normal reaction and accept it without judgment. Typically, when I start feeling the effects of adrenaline before a stressful situation, I just smile and tell myself that “everything is working as expected”.
Deep Breathing: Use deep breathing to calm your nerves and center your focus. Yesterday’s Box Breathing technique is a good example.
Visualize Success: Picture yourself succeeding to boost confidence and reduce anxiety. This helps to get rid of the negative emotions that come with stress.
Prepare and Act: Channel your stress into action, leveraging the adrenaline rush as an additional surge of energy to enhance your performance.
Stay Present: Focus on the present moment to make clearer decisions and perform effectively. No point expending your energy into anything else but the moment itself.
By reframing stress as a source of energy and motivation, you can harness this newly found power to achieve greater success. Embrace the adrenaline rush and turn it into a performance catalyst.
April 17: Learn to Manage Your Team’s Stress
As a leader, you’re not immune to the pressure and stress faced by your team. In fact, you often bear the additional responsibility of navigating their challenges, making tough decisions, and maintaining team morale. So far, we’ve been looking at techniques to manage your personal stress, but how do you manage your team’s stress?
In my experience when your team is under pressure, it’s natural to feel the weight of those challenges yourself. However, this shared experience can be both a challenge and an opportunity for growth. By prioritizing active listening, you can create a supportive work environment that empowers your team to manage stress effectively, leading to increased well-being and performance, while also helping you to build leadership capital. Here’s how I navigate it:
Empathy: Recognize and acknowledge what your team is going through. Show empathy and understanding, creating a culture of mutual support.
Open Communication: Encourage open dialogue about the challenges faced by the team. Share your own experiences and coping strategies to foster a sense of unity and resilience. Check out this video on how to have better conversations.
Collaborative Problem-Solving: Engage your team in collaborative problem-solving to address challenges collectively. Make sure that everyone is able to contribute their opinion in finding the solution.
Your ability to empathize, communicate openly, and collaborate with your team can make a significant difference in navigating stress and achieving high performance. Embrace this shared experience as an opportunity to grow stronger with your team.
April 18: Build Financial Stability
This world can be very unpredictable – one moment everything goes as smoothly, the next you are scrambling to make the backup plan work. With enough external and internal stressors out there, financial stress is at least something we can better prepare for. Having a financial safety net can provide peace of mind and help you navigate unexpected challenges with confidence. Setting up an emergency fund is a proactive step towards building financial resilience and reducing stress during uncertain times.
Set Goals: Aim for 3-6 months’ worth of living expenses.
Budget: Identify areas to save and allocate towards your fund.
Automate: Set up automatic transfers for consistent saving.
Prioritize: Make contributions a non-negotiable part of your budget.
Stay Committed: Resist using the fund for non-essential expenses.
No one is too rich or too poor to create such a fund, a cushion for unforeseen expenses such as medical emergencies, car repairs, or sudden job loss, without disrupting your long-term financial goals or relying on high-interest debt. So, be proactive and take charge of your financial stability as soon as possible.
April 19: Navigating High Stress Conversations
Do you remember the last time you were involved in a difficult conversation? Performance reviews, layoffs, contract negotiations, team conflicts, or other crisis situations… In both professional and personal settings, knowing how to navigate difficult conversations and high-stress encounters is an essential skill that will greatly improve your outcomes.
Stay Calm and Collected: Maintain your composure and approach the conversation with an open mind, focusing on understanding the other person’s perspective.
Active Listening: Practice active listening to fully understand the concerns and emotions of the other party. Avoid interrupting and ask clarifying questions to ensure clarity.
Empathy and Understanding: Approach the conversation with empathy, acknowledging the emotions and concerns of the other person. By showing genuine understanding, you can build trust and create a supportive environment for open dialogue and problem-solving.
Effective Communication: Be clear, concise, and respectful in your communication. Avoid blame and focus on problem-solving and finding common ground.
Remember, the goal is not to prove you are “right” or to “win”, but rather to find the most practical path forward for all parties given the situation.
For those looking to enhance their negotiation and communication skills, I highly recommend exploring the work of Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of “Never Split the Difference.” His insights into tactical empathy, mirroring, and effective negotiation techniques offer valuable strategies to successfully deal with high stress conversations. Here is a video with some of his key concepts.
Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth and discovery. I hope these insights illuminate your path forward as you pursue your aspirations with purpose and determination. See you in next week’s edition!
